Holy Week Ponderings
Holy Week is a time for deep reflection on my own sinfulness. I have to come to grips with the thought that I, personally, had a part in nailing Jesus to that cross. Pretty sobering, even guilt-inducing.
I often think about the disciples and followers of Jesus in Jesus’ time…what they must have been thinking and feeling during Holy Week. They must have come off Palm Sunday on quite a high being part of the inner circle of the man so many sang praises to that day. As the week wore on, Jesus said and did things that may have concerned them a bit – or a lot. Knowing the higher-ups at the temple were scrutinizing Jesus’ every move, they probably wondered why Jesus would purposely ‘poke the bear.’ The Passover brought more questions. What was He trying to tell them? Why did He think one of them would betray Him or deny Him? Did those He took to Gethsemane with Him feel guilt that they couldn’t do such a simple thing as ‘watch and pray’? The fear as Jesus was arrested must have overpowered them. Where were all the other disciples when all of this was going on? Did Judas fully know the ramifications of his betrayal? And Peter…the guilt and shame of his denial must have been crushing. What were they thinking as they either witnessed or heard of Jesus’ torture and crucifixion? What a long 3 days that must have been going over and over their time with Jesus searching for clues in what He had told them…wondering if He was who He said He was.
And then, on that third day! From doubting to belief – from the depths of sadness to the heights of joy – from hiding in fear to boldly preaching what they knew to be true. What a journey they had!
I am glad to be living on ‘this side of Easter.’ I don’t have to wonder what the end of the story is. But there are days I can relate (at least a little bit) with the disciples. I love the ‘highs’ of festival worship services. Feeling so thankful that I’ve been led to believe in the story of Jesus. Wanting that feeling for everyone I know. But, as I move forward from those days, I fall into my old habits – finding every excuse not to be bold in my witness to the remarkable story I just celebrated. And there are times when Jesus would have me be bolder in ‘poking the bear.’ (or is it just easier to change the subject?) Am I purposely ‘obtuse’ when I don’t want to hear what He’s trying to tell me? Do I betray or deny Him in my thoughts and actions? How easily do I forget to ‘watch and pray’? As things unfold in my life, how often do I wonder, ‘What are you up to, Lord – What’s the plan here?’ Do I doubt His power in my life when I try to handle things myself?
Like the disciples, I don’t always ‘get it.’ But also, like the disciples, sometimes I do. I have a journey, too. And I’m grateful that I know Jesus is there walking with me every step of the way. He understands and forgives my weaknesses and celebrates when I ‘get it.’
As I reflect on Jesus’ death and resurrections, I’m grateful to be living on this side of history. I don’t have to wonder, I KNOW that my Redeemer lives!
Blessings on your Holy Week celebrations~
Dawn Lubker, Director of Ministries
